blog post 4

Hello lovely people,

It’s been a while – 100% due to laziness (My bad), but I’m back and still unemployed and dealing with day to day boredom.

Summers for me from a young age have been fairly dull, but  I love being busy, doing things, learning things, having fun and hanging with friends thats probably why these past few weeks I have been feeling a lil crappy. I wouldn’t want to label it as depressed as but its the closest emotional state that relates to this current phase in my life. 

(side note!!!) do you know what? FACEBOOK SUCKS!! not that I don’t spend an obscene amount of hours scrolling through my news feed but it takes a lot of self control not to rage with envy looking through posts. My awesome friends and family seem to be having the times of their lives wether it be at a festival, travelling, on holiday or simply a filtered selfie and I’m here in my room, wearing jogging bottoms,look like s****, scrolling the web for entertainment  and not be anymore  cliché I have started writing a blog :D!

I always say if you don’t laugh you’ll cry. I’ve learnt that I’m very good at moaning  I know, I know, in comparison to what is going on in the world I have it pretty damn easy. It’s so easy to get caught in the mindset where you think you’re alone in a particular struggle but when you take a look at the rest of the world my struggles are embarrassing to even mention but at the same time they are mine

“Just have a little patience” is a phrase I hear at least three times a week from various sources of advice, well I’ll tell you now it is not bloody easy to be patient – especially in a world where everything is so fast paced. Being patient is not fun, it does not make you feel good,  but I have this strange feeling that it  has the potential to make you a better person. I couldn’t tell you why…  well it’s probably because I’ve heard that patience is a virtue. Somedays I feel virtues can do one and other days I feel like Gandhi for just being so wonderfully patient with all the situations in my life… ( I joke) but I know there is a needed balance just for the sake of sanity. Its not about being happy or comfortable in a frustrating situation but it’s about  holding on to a lil hope that things WILL change. Im not speaking from a place of employment and baller status, in fact this week I had to sign on for job seekers allowance, not my greatest moment, but a step that thousands of Brits have to go through in their search for work.

Loads of blogs and columns  have plenty of advice on practical steps on combating boredom. Which I have been doing like; trying to work out, getting out of the house, reading, learning a new skill and getting a new hobby, however i feel that  it only  helps with the superficial levels of “unemployment boredom” but the irritation is still there after a run, frustration kicks in after reading a novel and writing a blog post takes up about 2 hours of my day… so what next? I don’t have the answers no body does and I think thats where hope, patience and purpose make an appearance. I aim to make my lifestyle where I  only  work to live and not the other way round. I’ve realised that my want for a job is huge but it also makes me realise how weak we can be without a daily routine and a job. My sole purpose in life cannot be to work a full time job and if I don’t have one i’ll feel worthless and slip into depression. I’m hoping through life i’ll find real purpose, obviously having a job is essential to being able to live economically stable but what else is there? 

Flip me sometimes I don’t realise just how deep I am hahahaha, deffo should have done a degree in philosophy :p

Thanks for doing life with me

xxx

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